I see it now. You are awake at 3 am, a snack plate filled with mini chocolate chip muffins and strawberries, googling “what to expect after giving birth naturally”.
I know this because that was me two years ago, when I was a clueless first-time mom trying to be as prepared as possible going into this completely unknown territory.
Truthfully, I was terrified because not knowing what the outcome was going to be made me extremely nervous. I was nonstop googling until I felt like I had a pretty decent grasp of what to expect during labor and delivery, and damn it if I wasn’t stubbornly determined to have my baby naturally and unmedicated.
A quick labor tip: If you’re as determined as I was to have your baby naturally and unmedicated, breathwork is one of the biggest factors that you can use to your advantage. Some amazing YouTube videos walk you through breathing techniques for the different stages of labor (yes, there are different stages… I had no idea). I’ll link to the one I used at the bottom of this page. This one helped me through not one, but two successful unmedicated natural labors + deliveries. It works.
Okay, now where was I? Right. You’re googling, clueless about what you’re about to walk into, and imagining the moments, hours, and days after your little love comes into the world. Only, I bet you’re imagining yourself all dolled up in a super cute postpartum recovery robe/lounge set, photo ready to post for all the world to see, right?
Here’s a little truth bomb for you. Those moms are completely faking it. Yep, I said it. They are putting on a mask for the whole world to see so that they can maintain their facade of a perfect little beautiful life. It’s fake social media garbage.
Why am I telling you this?
Because there’s not enough truth about what actually happens in the first 24 hours after birth, as well as the days thereafter, and I, for one, do not want you to be completely blindsided by the reality that is going to hit you once your baby is here. I want you to be so prepared that you laugh a little while you’re applying your nipple cream on (this is the nipple cream I used and loved) after another successful nursing session. Unlike most other moms who constantly find themselves in the dumps, wondering why everything hurts, and aren’t they supposed to look, feel, and act like that one new mom on IG who just had her baby a few days ago?
I’m going to share with you my postpartum moments, hours, and days with my first baby to give you an inside look at the reality of postpartum as a new mom. Keep in mind that yours may not be anything like mine, but if sharing my story helps you to prepare, then that’s my end goal.
Postpartum with my first baby (girl): In the moments after I had delivered her, my body was in such complete shock that I looked at my baby when the doctor held her up and immediately said, “That’s not my baby.” and then I looked at my husband and said, “I am never doing this again.” She was GINORMOUS, and red, and wrinkly, and had a swollen face. I’m telling you, she didn’t look anything like I had pictured. They laid her on my chest, she found her way to my boob, and I kid you not, the girl nursed for 3 HOURS before she decided she’d had enough. My poor husband just wanted to hold his baby girl, but oh no, she wanted to nurse until she couldn’t nurse anymore.
Anywho, while the girl was nursing, I had to deliver the placenta (surprise!). You aren’t done once the baby comes out. On a positive note, it was nothing to deliver that thing after pushing out a ginormous baby. And then the stitches (if you happen to tear).
All the while, I’m still in shock, wondering what tf just happened to my body, my mind, my soul. Who am I, where am I, what am I supposed to do with this thing on my chest? It’s a whirlwind.
The next few days of the hospital stay after giving birth were a blur. I barely got any sleep for various reasons. I forgot to message my brother and tell him the baby had arrived (as I mentioned, it was a whirlwind). I didn’t take a single picture of myself with the baby while we were in the hospital, and to be completely honest, I didn’t feel a shred of love towards her. I felt empty. I literally thought I was broken, and I was so terrified to say anything because I didn’t want the nurses to diagnose me with postpartum depression.
Looking back now, that feeling, especially as a first-time mom, is COMPLETELY NORMAL. This is where I despise the “he/she is here!” posts on social media because they always include “We love him/her so much already!” and it puts so much pressure on new moms to feel that love right away when, in reality, for most moms, that love comes in a few weeks postpartum. And don’t worry, it WILL come. I think I started feeling mine around the six-week mark, and it has grown tenfold since then.
When we finally made it home, the sudden hormone dip hit me like a ton of bricks. It is brutal. If you’re one of the lucky few, you won’t feel it much, and I’m so happy for you, but most of us will experience it in our own ways.
Mine was when my husband was bringing our fur baby (dog) back home from my parents’ house. He called me and said, “He is acting super weird like he knows something is up,” and that one sentence sent me into a burst of tears that I could not stop. When he walked in the door and saw me crying, he said, “What’s wrong?” My reply, “I just want my fur baby to love my human baby.” He laughed. I cried. My fur baby and my human baby became best friends. Girl, it is a trip.
I don’t think I slept for the first few nights while we were at home. It’s a strange feeling to be solely responsible for another human who is 100% reliant on you for survival when it used to be just you, your husband, and the dog. But as the days tick on, things will gradually become easier, you’ll naturally fall into a rhythm that works for you and your baby, and things will start to hurt a little less. If you’ve read my story all the way through, I’d like to take a moment to thank you. I truly believe that childbirth and postpartum are simultaneously the most beautiful and delicate times in a mother’s life. Everything you feel and experience during these times is incredibly valid, and you are truly not alone.
Because I didn’t have anything but Google and Bridget Teyler to help me through my postpartum journey, I decided to create a few guides to help other moms navigate postpartum with a little more confidence than I did. These guides are exactly what I wish I had when I was going through postpartum and trying to understand my recovery and my baby.
You can access the guides here: The Postpartum Relief Co
And don’t forget to check out the breathwork magic here: https://www.youtube.com/@BridgetTeyler
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